Day Four: 10 January 2006

11.57
What a start to the day so far. Sitting meditation went ‘poorly’ as I kept falling asleep. Even an hour of walking did not cure sleepiness. I am getting the hang of mindfulness of all actions; though at times I forget too and rush actions through without thinking.

While eating, still distracted y how ‘quickly’ others are; at times looking around to see what other people are doing, and judging whether I’m doing things correctly.
Don’t judge, don’t compare!

Will get some rest now.

18.32
Had a session of Dhamma tape, and realized how important it is to cultivate mindfulness! It is the key to deep concentration, the solution to calm and peace, and eternal happiness. It can not the rising and falling of mental and physical phenomenon, and thereby realise the true nature and experience of Dhamma. Without it, the constant craving and constant aversion twists and turns, while our senses and thoughts will forever spin around our earthly pain and suffering.

Be mindful, not every sensation, every action, every thought, and then there will be peace, then there will be concentration, then there will be insight, and with insight comes the ultimate realization of the nature and experience of Dhamma!

But it is difficult, even the bites of mosquitoes drive the attention away. Even the darkness and sudden unknown movements can shatter peace and calm that have accumulated before.

20.03
The same green, red, golden and fallen leaves turn into venomous, hairy, slimy creatures in the dark of the night…
The same compassionate, loving and caring mother dog turns into a beast which make the heart jump and spine frizzle with fear…

If only for a moment. Recognise fear, see it, face it, let it go.