Coming back to me

I browsed a few photo albums containing pictures I dared not look at for a while. Did I not dare or did it just not occur to me to do so? Pictures I took at those precious moments, moments that were etched in my mind forever, but which I know will trigger a flood of emotions when I am reminded of them again...

Mum... Mum at the hospital, mum at home, me holding mum's hand, mum looking at me, mum smiling, mum dying, mum covered under the blanket which I took and have kept since that day she passed away... Tears started to form. Last time I cried was perhaps a month or so ago...

Again I am reminded of her kindness, reminded of the warmth only she could give me. Again, I am reminded, my goodness, how much I/ we have gone through these few months... How painful, how difficult, how testing and unsettling... And also how beautiful it all was....


Again I am reminded of the reason why I am going on this trip to a foreign land, to a foreign place in search of peace and closure.